#survived

I survived the party Saturday night! 🎉 it was difficult but I did it! I met so many new people who I had to kiss and hug to greet which was super hard to tolerate but I managed! I also wore a dress and high heels and managed to walk without falling on my face surprisingly…

I was the event photographer for the whole evening which I really enjoyed as it gave me a purpose and distracted me all evening. It meant I wasn’t milling around doing nothing and not knowing anybody to talk to. It also helped me to get to know people better.

I managed to tolerate the loud live music and flashing lights and changed into flat shoes to give my feet a break!

Sensory and Awesome…

People with sensory problems and SPD aren’t average. We are here to be awesome. It doesnt matter if we are different to everyone else. I think we are unique and having heightened senses mean we see, feel, hear, smell and taste things so much differently to everyone else. Yes we are sensory. But we are awesome because of it and how we deal with it.

Dress Up Make Up

Wearing make up is the social norm if your a girl these days. However I find this really difficult. I do not understand how girls can cake themselves in make up. I cannot stand the texture and personally don’t see a real need for it. I think looking natural is the way forward! I have learnt to tolerate mascara (not slathered on just a small amount) and I can wear concealer (spot coverage!) but people always still comment about how little make upon wear and how I would look so ‘pretty‘ with it on. I don’t want to look pretty. I want to be comfortable – especially as I’m not always comfortable in my own skin as it is!

I hate ‘dressing up’ I tend to feel self concious and exposed to everything in a dress. I like to cover up and find it hard to just wear a tshirt and have bare arms let alone tolerate a dress!

Tonight however I am going to a 1920’s themed fancy dress party. And I’m wearing high heels. For the first time. Ever. I’ve had to practice walking in them with my mum and sister saying I look ‘awkward‘ and ‘funny looking‘ I swear it’s like walking on stilts trying to get used to walking in heels…So tonight I will be wearing make up. A dress. High heels. A head band thingy. And going to a party. It will be loud. There will be live music. People will be greeting each other and touching me and I swear I never know how to kiss people on the cheek – one kiss or two?!?

What I don’t like about parties is the faffing before hand. Like my mum helping with my hair – which I appreciate but also loath at the same time. Tonight will be interesting and extremely overwhelming sensory-wise but I am going to give it a good go and try and enjoy myself as much as possible. I woke up this morning feeling like I was about to take an exam that’s how anxious and nervous I felt! I’m working today until 5pm ( I’m writing this at my desk) I’m hoping this is going to keep me distracted but I have nervous butterflies that don’t seem to want to go away, Ugh!

So how do you cope with loud events and parties? Any good survival tips?

Whirring Thoughts

 Last night it took me ages to get to sleep. My mind just wouldn’t turn off – there were repetitive lines of songs going round in my head, worries, thoughts, etc. I had really fidgety feet that wouldn’t keep still – I really wasn’t in sleep mode at all! I find this can happen a lot. I try not to keep checking the time as this make me worry about not sleeping…

My mum always used to say to me if you are awake with worries or anxieties to keep a notebook next to my bed and to write them down and come back to them in the morning. I also use this method for ideas I have in the night that I don’t want to forget!

I find my mind is always worrying about something – sometimes I can really feel that worry and overthink it and sometimes the feeling comes over me like a wave at sea – all of a sudden without warning. This is the same with my mood. I find I can go from being in a good mood to feeling emotional and crying within the space of a few minutes without reason which is quite hard to explain to others. This is especially hard when I was at secondary school and even now at uni – I can become overwhelmed so easily that I have to bottle up my feelings until I get home.

My top tips for sleeping well:

  1. Have a bath before bed (I do love baths a lot – see my previous post!)
  2. Rescue remedy do a great night time solution which I use before I go to bed if I am really stressed.
  3. I bought some lavender and lemon oil to smell to calm me down before bed – I found the lavender just too strong but the lemon one is such a fresh clean smell it’s great!
  4. Escape technology – easier said than done but I try and put my phone etc down relatively early to give myself a chance to get off to sleep.
  5. Try using the sleep cycle app or headspace meditation app (see my earlier posts) I use the sleep cycle app to listen to the ‘cabin’ sound effect of a fan whirring which I find calming, and the headspace app to listen to meditation sessions to distract me.

So what works for you best? How do you manage to sleep? Share in the comments below and lets all help each other!

What if?

  

I think it’s important to remember that you only live once and that making a mistake and trying something is better that thinking ‘what if’ after the opportunity has gone. It’s so hard trying new things but it’s worth it! 

One step at a time

I think this quote form Martin Luther King really sums up living with SPD. Because everything is so overwhelming to my senses I always see the whole staircase and don’t think I will ever mange to get to the top. But if I break it down and take it step by step it’s more achievable.