This is how I feel a lot both mentally and physically. I’m more confident than I used to be but I’m not very body confident at all.
I want to loose weight and become more toned and fitter. I wish I didn’t have to wear glasses but find contact lenses too much of a sensory nightmare. I feel my hips are too wide and I really want a more toned flatter stomach. I like to cover up by wearing long tops that cover my hips and jumpers and shirts that cover my arms. I know I’m not overweight or obese or anything but I’m just not happy with how I look despite that. I’m aware that some girls want to be skinner than they are but I just can’t embrace how I look right now.
I get asked a lot why I don’t have my ears pierced, don’t ever want a tattoo, or why I don’t wear a lot of make up, etc and it’s because these things would create absolute havoc and continuous meltdowns to a sensory defensive person like me, however it is seen as the norm for someone of my age. Im fine with not fitting in with other people my age, but it doesn’t mean it’s doesn’t wear me down or get to me at times.
My thoughts in my head as well seem like a mess to me. I genuinely think my head is just wired differently to everyone else and I just pick up on everything and anything to do with my 5 senses. This can easily ruin my mood or even my day. It seems crazy that sensory input has that effect on me and I can’t control it!
I just wish SPD was more widely understood…!