Sensory Festive Season 🎄

Ah yes the festive season is well and truly upon us. Welcome to the ‘random questions Emily gets asked at this time of year’.

Yes I went to my team dinner at work. Yes it was painful. Yes I went to our company Christmas party. Yes it was painful and LOUD. Yes I got dragged onto a dance floor against my own wishes. But I survived the environment. Yet I miss ONE cocktail night out and a co-worker comes up to me the next day and says ‘didn’t see you at the pub last night’ and catches me off guard. UGH.

I’m trying to navigate this sensory world and my limit is usually one social / festive gathering and I managed two out of three! So what would make my festive season that little bit better? Less questions.

1. I don’t drink alcohol. For some reason this throws everybody and I am questioned beyond belief. I don’t like the taste. That’s all there is to it! And yes, I’ll have a lemonade instead please.

2. I don’t eat much meat. This throws everybody. Again: I don’t like the taste (although chicken is okay sometimes). It’s easier to say I’m a vegetarian 🌱

3. I do find it difficult to dress up. I can wear a dress but I don’t like anything ridiculously tight or short. And high heels are a bit of a no-go due to tripping over my own feet normally in trainers everyday!

4. I’m dealing with sensory stuff in a new environment and holy moly all these questions do not help!

I can have fun without drinking, eating and dressing up. (Aka: cosy nights in watching Bake Off, Top Gear, Brooklyn 99 or a Louis Theroux documentary. Equally tucked up in bed with a book is just great too!)

Drawing by me. This post featured on my 21andsensory Instagram

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You’re not a mess.

Screenshot 2018-12-01 at 14.21.53

‘You’re not a mess. You’re brave for trying’. It’s so so easy to put yourself down these days. Everything seems that much more difficult to deal with, whether its sensory or adult stuff like admin, self-care, tidying, paying bills. The stuff everyone else makes look easy. It’s easy to think of yourself as a mess. I think of myself as a mess. That’s not nice to write but it’s true. I feel like I am bumbling along attempting to deal with things as they come my way and ultimately feeling overwhelmed sensory and mental-health wise. 

But I started wondering. What if everyone else (the people I think are super cool and have got it altogether in life) also think of themselves as a mess? What if we are all just walking around and thinking like this? I know it comes back to the whole ‘comparison’ thing. Yeah it’s super easy to constantly compare yourself to others because thats all that’s ever in front of you. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat it’s never-ending all the different platforms that throw you happy people all the flipping time. It’s tiring.

2018 has been really hard for me and not a lot of people are aware of this. But to share a snippet I would like to mention how awful life feels when everyone is happy and you feel like an utter mess. A social media example: I tap on the Facebook app on my phone and instantly I’m thrown into newly wed couple photos, new baby scans, new travel adventures, graduations, moving house key photos, engagement photos. ALL I WENT ON FACEBOOK FOR WAS TO GET RID OF THE NOTIFICATIONS AND MAYBE SEE A CUTE DOG VIDEO. Instead I am reminded of how I am not progressing in life and everyone is having a great, lovely, happy time. 

The thing is THEY AREN’T. And I am brave for continuing to remember that and to try and create my own happiness. I have learnt to appreciate more of the little things. I love cups of tea. I like sunsets. I like new fineliner pens. I like my comfy dressing gown. I love baths. I enjoy eating blueberries. These give me tiny happiness bursts. Find the tiny things that bring you joy. And flipping hold onto them so tight because they really can help. I’m not a mess. And neither are you or anybody else you know.

We are all figuring our own stuff out in life, yeah some people more then others, but nobody is a mess. I think we’re all braver then we think.

(P.s Note to self: stop opening Facebook just google dog videos)

This post was originally posted on my Instagram @21andsensory